Throwback Thursday / October 1999 - Joel in NICU

Baby Joel in the NICU in Texas 3 days old and my first visit with him.

He had a grade 3 bleeder on the brain, but we were just thrilled with our new baby boy. God miraculously removed all the clotted blood from the bleed and we wouldn't find out until he

was 15 years old that he was legally blind. Which news broke our heart, but I know me. If I had of known, I would have handicapped him even more by waiting on him too much.

As it turned out, doctors, eye doctors and eye specialist (even the ones that did his eye surgery when he was about 18 months old) were all left in the dark as to the deficit in vision that he struggled with.

I really battled with guilt - being his mama and not knowing! Somehow or other, I believed that because I was his mama that I should have known - even if the doctors didn't catch it. I really had to work through forgiving myself with that one.

Here I am in Texas shopping for his first baby outfits! All you moms will probably agree that it's one of the perks of having babies around, while you dads will probably just shake your heads in bewilderment!

#ThrowbackThursday #October1999JoelinNICU