Teaching Tuesday / Most Dads Will Parent (If You Let Them!)

Warning: Transparent Message ( please, don’t throw stones, I have repented!):

Since this is Father’s Day week, I wanted to address an easy way to honor your children’s dads.

Young mother the best way to HONOR your child’s dad is to let him parent your child with you!

Let me explain:

As a young mom (with a lot of emotional childhood wounds), I felt the need to control everything because of deep seeded wounds that fed fear in my soul. Dear moms, hear my heart! Do not make the same mistake that I made.

Most new dads want to help, but if you criticize their attempts - like I did - rather than suffer the shame of humiliating failure they will vacate the court and leave the ball (I mean BABY) completely in your hands! Not because they don’t care! Not because they aren’t willing, but male egos can’t handle being a FAILURE in YOUR eyes! Rather than risk that they retreat to whatever it is that they can feel successful at - work, hanging with the guys, sports, etc. - anywhere that they don’t feel the sting of your (of my) harsh criticism .😢

FLASHBACK: Billy couldn’t do parenting “right”. Not because he was inept at it. He just did it different than me, and back then in my bondage of woundedness everything had to be done like I wanted it done! Because my way was the only RIGHT way!🤦🏻‍♀️or so I truly believed!!! (THANK GOD for inner healing and deliverance!) Unfortunately, because of my perfectionism and my way or the highway attitude, my children didn’t always receive the benefit of the much needed input of their very stable and easy-going daddy. And me? I was left totally confused as to why Billy didn’t step up to the plate, and parent along-side of me. The answer was simple - for years, way too many years - when he stepped up to the plate, I’d push him down with my words of criticism and lack of grace towards his attempts at parenting. Both of us were left hurt and confused, but the real losers were our children.🤦🏻‍♀️😭

Here's 3 good tips to remember:

1) Your man isn’t going to parent like you! Your precious child needs each of your different and unique parenting skill sets!

2) Your hubby is gonna make mistakes! But so do we . . . Or at least I’ve made my share plus enough for somebody else. That’s the way we learn, get better, and improve!

3)And the 3rd thing to remember in honoring your child’s dad. . . NEVER make negative comments towards or about him in front of your child!!! Unless a child is in danger, NEVER CRITICIZE your child's dad and especially not his parenting ability in your child’s presence. Good dad or bad dad? that is YOUR child’s dad and part of your job is to teach your child to honor him in obedience to God! Believe me when those teenage years hit, you will be so thankful that you taught your child to honor by example!

If you, like me, are saying “Oh me!” or “Oh my!” take heart. It’s never too late to repent! Father always welcomes His children with open arms. Just repent! Ask your child’s dad to forgive you, and start modeling humility in front of your precious little ones!

Then enjoy your NEW parenting journey - balanced and sharing the responsibility like the Lord intended!

If you have been stuck in this negative rut for years, you will have to be intentional

about breaking old response patterns, but I want to encourage you that transformation can take place. Nothing is impossible with our God! Happy repenting and happy parenting!